Most managers have more or less or bought into the idea that gender diversity is a good thing. An encouraging, twenty-five percent of women gave their CEO 10 out of 10 on "Commitment to advancing women" in WITI's Best Companies for Women in Technology survey. Yet in the same survey women commented:

"It's still an old boy's club"

"Women's comments are not even recognized unless a man also supports that idea."

"Women are continuously over looked for key positions regardless of the quality and impact of their contributions"

"They talk the talk, but don't walk the walk. The programs are in place, but they are not supported by management"

Most large companies have spent loads of money on diversity programs. Why then are so many companies lousy places for women to work?

At the risk of sounding flippant the answer is that being good at diversity is hard - or rather, what you need to do is subtle, and so many people get it wrong. For example, it seems logical that if your firm doesn't have enough women at senior levels then you need to establish targets, say four new women VPs over the next three years. But experience has shown this doesn't work. It's pretty clear there is something flawed in the quota approach if you listen to your gut. Women feel, "I don't want to be promoted just as a token!" Men feel, "I don't want to be passed over for promotion just because I'm the wrong gender!" The quota system promotes equality only in that it makes everyone equally mad.

However, it would be wrong to condemn companies applying quotas; they are trying to do the right thing. The end goal they seek, a greater number of women in senior positions, is a laudable one. What was missed was the subtlety of what it takes to get to the goal. Before companies get into implementing diversity programs, they need to get a better understanding of the problem.

Why Do We Need Programs Anyway?
A good place to start is to ask, "Why you need diversity programs anyway?" If a company truly lived in a spirit of inclusiveness there would be no diversity programs, people would simply rise on merit, irrespective of ethnicity, gender or hair color. Ideally, we shouldn't be striving to have great diversity programs but to do away with the barriers that create a need for them.

The biggest barrier is the blind spots men have when it comes to women in the workplace.

If you ask men why there are not many women in the higher ranks they'll say:

• "There are not enough women in the labor pool with the right experience."
• "Women do not want to make the sacrifices required for senior jobs."
• "Our male clients prefer, and feel more comfortable, dealing with men."

None of these are true, and if you ask women why there are few women in the senior levels they'll say,

• "There's an old boys network."
• "Women are excluded from the real meeting after the meeting."
• "It is not a supportive environment for women."

Unfortunately, they won't say that to men in the exit interview. In the exit interview they'll say they're leaving for more money or better work-life balance. They don't say, so the men never know. One of the central reasons why inclusiveness is so hard to attain is that the problem is invisible to the group in power.

Even when you tell the men in power that the atmosphere is unfriendly they may listen politely but will feel in their hearts that it's not true, thinking, "Heck, it's always been friendly to me". Complain that the work schedule disrupts your life and they'll think, "I could manage it, maybe you're just not up to the job." Argue that, "I'm ignored in meetings", and they'll feel, "That may be so, but it has never happened to me."

Top management may see an outcome such as low retention rates for senior women, but they've never experienced any problems themselves so it's hard for them to feel that there really is anything wrong with the firm. It's a big blind spot; and until you can address the blind spot, these conditions are going to be hard to change.

Blind Spots in Action
Over the course of my career I've seen the same kind of dynamics over and over again. A large financial firm pushed out one of their few senior women because, "She just didn't cut it." When I probed to find what "not cutting it" meant, they told me she wasn't aggressive enough, she didn't grab the floor; argue her point and boast of her accomplishments. She was, in a word, "too soft".

The men failed to perceive that what they called "too soft" was simply a collaborative style, and this blind spot just catapulted talented women out of the firm. They simply were unaware of how their perceptual filters made it impossible for women to feel comfortable.

Programs that Work (And Those that Don't)
Any program that is seen as a quick fix, any program that is compliance focused, any program that is seen as an HR and not a business program is not going to work to create an inclusive climate. The problem lies in how senior leaders perceive the world and unless companies address that they'll get nowhere.

Companies who are successful at inclusiveness see it as a systems intervention and like any important intervention start by making the business case. The leaders need to decide that diversity is important to the business, not just a matter of compliance or cosmetics. Next successful companies focus on changing people's perceptions. People need to learn where their blind spots are, so that they don't perpetuate the decisions and behaviors that caused the problem in the first place. Next, they need coaching to help them change their habitual behavior and keep them on course. It's a good idea to start with the most cynical, critical, and hard to convince manager. If your approach to opening someone's eyes works here, then you can get it to work throughout the firm.

If this sounds daunting, it really shouldn't. Businesses undertake programs of this scale all the time. By addressing the two key points of leverage, blind spots and behaviors, firms can succeed in changing the atmosphere. This is much more effective than any number of "women-friendly programs" floundering in the absence of real management support.

What the Individual Can Do
I've focused on what organizations can do to build a climate of inclusiveness. However, individual women can't sit around waiting for someone else to start making changes. First, women have to stop doing what doesn't work, and what doesn't work includes blaming men, creating exclusionary women's groups (the "wine and whine" clubs), or just keeping quiet. What does work is strategically, and by design, building relationships with the influencers in the company. What does work is speaking up and starting to address some of those blind spots yourself. What does work is making the commitment to be part of the change and not part of the status quo.

It's easy to be discouraged by non-supportive environments. If you want to just lay low and wait for retirement then that can be a valid choice. However, most of us want to choose a different life. The trick is knowing what strategies work, and knowing that you can make a difference for yourself and for other women.

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