I have never departed from my love of teaching, my first profession, and have always been committed to spending time coaching other women.

I recently offered some coaching time to a woman in WITI, who recently transitioned out of a technical job into her very first business - a consulting business. I had never spoken with her before, but knew she was spending a great deal of time building a new chapter for WITI, and wanted to give back.

She told me she loved the benefits of having more control over her work, working from home and thoroughly enjoyed her first two consulting assignments. However, she needed help with lining up her next assignments; while she felt she did an excellent job consulting and solving broad ranging challenges of her clients, she "hated the idea of selling".

One of the most common mistakes even seasoned professionals make, I told her, is that they believe they must "sell themselves" in interviews, meetings - with clients or prospective employers. That, while, we are always "selling" our ideas, thinking, etc., the words "sales and selling" now come with so much baggage, that it has always made more sense to me to take an entirely different approach to the process.

Moving from "me centric" to listening.

From the time we are born, our world revolves around ourselves - anyone who has had or taken care of babies, sees that a baby's entire world is about "me". A central part of healthy development, into adulthood is moving from a "me centric" to a "we centric" mentality. That is, moving from the idea that the entire world does and should revolve around "me" to a healthy understanding that it's all about "we" - an exchange - and a fair one.

My experience is that even those who would agree with the "we" concept, continue to prepare for meetings, interviews, networking experiences focused on "me". What do I need, what can I say to make the right impression, how should "I" position myself, my company, etc.

Solving a Problem, Filling a Need
The number one factor in landing that job or winning that consulting assigment is this: Solving a problem, filling a need.

So, whether you're trying to land a job or win a contract, your entire focus must be:

Understanding what problem your prospective employer or client needs to solve - what is keeping this person awake at night?

Therefore, your number one objective in job interviews, client meetings is to listen, not "sell". Start the shift by taking an entirely different approach in your next interview or client meeting. Instead of talking about yourself, ask a couple of open ended questions to get the other person to talk first. Listen for the need, what challenges is this person trying to solve, and assess honestly to what degree you can contribute to the solution. Don't, even for a nanosecond, consider taking any job or assignment to which you cannot contribute real value. Don't compromised your integrity. Honestly share what you believe you can and cannot do, so going into the assignment, there are no unrealistic expectations. No matter how much you need the job, the contract

Integrity is all we have - and the best way to build relationships and a credible reputation, is being honest with yourself and your client or prospective employer. If you can't fulfill your client's expectations and contribute real value, try to help her/him find someone who can.

As you build your business, do you have a challenge you want to discuss? Please send your questions and comments to carolyn@corp.witi.com.

What is your point of view? Please post your thoughts on the discussion board.

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