Most of us have some awareness of our personal strengths and weaknesses. And most of us believe that our strengths are "good" and to be honored and our weaknesses are "bad" and should be eliminated, compensated for, or hidden from the world. Like two sides of a coin, we want to turn our "heads" up and keep our "tails" hidden.

An incident happened the other day that made me rethink this perspective. During a coaching session I asked my client (a very smart and perceptive senior manager) what she saw as her greatest strengths. She answered easily: empathetic, collaborative, concerned about others, generous, and persistent. I then asked her what she saw as her greatest weaknesses. Here is what she said: empathetic, collaborative, concerned about others, generous, and persistent. My first reaction was to laugh at what I thought was a very witty answer. My second reaction was to realize that hidden in what she said were two very important truths:

• Our greatest weaknesses can be our greatest strengths, and
• Our greatest strengths have a shadow side

Both of these truths are equally important and deserve some reflection.

Sometimes your greatest weakness is really your greatest strength in disguise
Here's a simple example to illustrate the idea. Many people consider it a great weakness to be a highly sensitive person (i.e., one who is sensitive to what other people think and feel). However, if you are willing to acknowledge and embrace this "perceived weakness" as part of who you are, then you may be able to find some real positives or strengths in this aspect of you. For example, you might realize the following:

• I can easily sense how other people feel and what they need
• I am able to notice and enjoy subtleties that others miss (e.g., subtle smells, colors, tastes, sounds)
• I am able to appreciate and take great joy from beauty (e.g., beautiful art, music, nature)
• To my work and my relationships I bring a finely tuned sense of intuition - I can sense the mood of other people or an organization, and sense what is coming before it happens
• I am empathetic

Next time you think about what you perceive your weaknesses to be, look deeply for the gifts they bring you. When you are willing to fully acknowledge and embrace your weaknesses you take an important step toward becoming whole.

Our greatest strengths have a shadow side
We tend to revel in our strengths, and to want to give them full unbridled expression. Because many times our strengths show themselves early in our lives, they are often recognized by others and we are rewarded for expressing them. We may be told, "You have a great gift - you are.... (Fill in the blank: creative, organized, logical, etc.)." Over time, our feeling of uniqueness and specialness as a person becomes linked to what we perceive our unique and special strengths to be until they begin to merge seamlessly. Our strengths become not just our great gifts, but also our identity. We tend not to critically examine them or realize that they may be driving us in ways we are unaware of, or in directions that may not serve us.

Here are a couple of examples:

If your greatest strength is your boundless energy and enthusiasm here is a potential shadow side - when you need to make big changes in your life, your natural "full speed ahead" pace may not allow you the full thinking space you need to consider your options. You may need to slow down - to think more clearly you may need to interrupt your normal rhythm to create a space for change.

If your greatest strength is your creativity (for example, your talent in music or art) you may feel driven by your gift, unable to walk away from it or scale back on your commitment to it.

If your greatest strength is your skill for organization, you may not realize how the high degree of structure you impose on your life leaves little room for serendipity, creativity, experimentation, or chance discovery.

A final thought
Both your strengths and your weakness are a central part of your uniqueness. Both bring gifts and challenges. Like two sides of a coin, they both contribute to the value of the whole. Both deserve to be acknowledged, embraced, and examined in the fullness of their contribution.

What is your point of view? Please post your thoughts on the discussion board.

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