If I asked you if you had ever reinvented your life, what would you say? My experience is that most people say "No" unless they have gone through a drastic career or relationship change, or are in recovery from a major addiction. They apply a stringent criteria of "drama-required" when assessing their own changes or the changes that others make. Unless a change is observable and dramatic - for example a software programmer becoming a trapeze artist or a senior manager chucking a promising career to start a bed-and-breakfast - it doesn't "qualify" in most people's book as a reinvention. I fundamentally disagree. In my book the most life-changing shifts are either not easily observable from the outside, or they are observable but subtle. That is because these core shifts are "internal" and change how you see, think, feel, and deal with your everyday world. They affect you on a minute-by-minute basis, and change the nature of your days. And because, "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives" (quote by Annie Dillard), these shifts effect the very fabric of your life.

Reinvention is an inside job - meaning that it is the changes we make on the inside that create the most powerful and long-lasting differences in our lives. Sometimes these internal changes subsequently lead to dramatic and observable "outside" changes in career or relationships, but not necessarily. And just because these changes don't show up as flashy "stories" that impress others does not mean that they have not vastly changed how you live in the world and forever altered the experience you have of your life.

If you are dissatisfied with some aspect of who you are or how you are living your life, and are intent on making changes, it is vitally important that you learn how to recognize how this "internal progress" shows up. Big changes often are a long-time in the making and if you judge your progress by external standards (e.g., "Have I changed careers yet?") you are likely to feel angry and frustrated with yourself for not changing faster. This anger and frustration, in turn, contributes to low self-esteem ("I must be really incompetent/lazy/worthless because I can't seem to make this change and make it fast"). And low-self esteem just perpetuates a "why bother" attitude - and accelerates a vicious downward spiral.

Here are just a few of the literally thousands of small but significant changes that you can look for that are evidence that a reinvention is in-progress inside of you.

• You notice that you react differently to a situation than you have in the past. For many, a major shift occurs when they find that they are able to "wait and see" without feeling that they need to react instantaneously to every situation.


• You are able to "claim" what is yours - you acknowledge a contribution you have made or a situation you have survived. For example, you say to yourself or someone else, "I helped put this company on the map" or "I survived a terrible divorce." And you go a step further - you realize that no matter what happens these achievements cannot be taken away from you.


• You start making clearer distinctions in how you see and describe yourself, what you do, and your world. For example:


• Instead of saying, "I hate editing", you say, "I hate worrying about grammar and punctuation, but I love being responsible for the organization, structure and flow of written materials." Instead of saying, "I don't like marketing" you say, "I am good at creating a marketing program and marketing collateral material - but I don't like cold calling and negotiation."


• You "get" that there is a difference between what you are good at and what you like to do. There are lots of things that you and others may recognize that you do well, but that does not mean you want to continue to do them or have them be part of your job.


• Instead of just experiencing a vague feeling of discomfort in given situations, you begin to know why you feel this way (e.g., "I like working with others one-on-one or in small groups, but I am not comfortable with large groups of people.")


• You start making choices based on what is really important to you (e.g., your Values). For example, when looking for a new career you may come to realize that that it is absolutely essential for you to "believe in" and feel passionate about what you do for a living. Or you may realize that above all else your ideal job must allow you to continue to learn and grow, and to help and support others. You begin to use your core values as your key criteria for selecting among alternative opportunities.


• You start connecting with, and trusting, your intuition. You find that more and more frequently you feel that you "just know" the right direction or decision for you in a given circumstance. You begin to feel more "open" as in, "I am open for new things should they be right for me."


• You notice that you are able to take action (no matter how small the steps) rather than just sitting and thinking about things. The shift is especially meaningful when you find that you are accomplishing things even in situations where you "just don't feel like doing it" - and where in the past this vague sense of resistance would have been enough to stop you dead in your tracks.


• You notice a momentum building. For example, if you have been struggling with a house full of clutter, and you clean one room - then notice that you feel inclined to clean up a second and then a third room, and then your car.


• You begin to realize that changes you make in your personal life are causing related changes in your professional life - and vice versa. You notice the interactions and realize that change and growth (be it personal or professional) is ultimately all linked to personal development.


• You begin to recognize the people, situations, and environments that cause you to give away your power or let it drain away, and you start consciously choosing to avoid these.


• You begin to fully accept that in everything you say and do you are making choices, and you begin to enjoy taking responsibility for these choices. You consciously work to identify and expand your options in each situation instead of just going with the first or most obvious alternative.


• You are able to move forward without feeling that you have to know exactly how things will turn out before you take the first step.


• When faced with a challenge - instead of just "doing something" you "become something." For example, instead of just "doing" a diet to lose weight you find that you are "becoming" a person who is not inclined to pollute their body with junk food (and thus eating a healthy diet becomes a natural reflection of who you are).


• You redefine "failure" and begin to feel more comfortable with it. You begin to realize that negative feedback is extremely valuable and provides positive input that can help you change and adjust. And you actually seek it out.


• You begin to feel comfortable just doing your best and then letting go and detaching from the outcome. It's not that you don't care how things turn out, but you don't feel compelled to force an outcome.


• Instead of looking to see how each situation or encounter might potentially damage you or your reputation, you find yourself genuinely curious about why things happen or why people do what they do. You let your curiosity guide your conversations and actions as opposed to your fear.


• You begin to ask more direct questions and feel comfortable doing so. You stop thinking that straightforward questions are rude.

These are just a few of the changes you may notice that can alert you to the fact that "something is changing in me." And that "something" is wondrous, fundamental, and powerful. What is happening is that you are creating the foundation and framework for enduring changes - for that reinvention of who you are and how you operate. Each of these building blocks makes it's contribution. Thus, for example, "claiming your accomplishments" is an essential building block for your self esteem, and "learning to make finer and finer distinctions" is critical for defining career changes. If you learn to notice these changes and acknowledge them, you will also begin to appreciate that you are indeed reinventing yourself - from the inside out.

One last thought. Just as Oliver Wendell Holmes said, "Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions," it is equally true that once you have made some of these core underlying changes and shifts you are "reinvented" and your new perspective will clear the way for further evolution.

What is your point of view? Please post your thoughts on the discussion board.

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