As a Coach I work with many people who are dissatisfied with their current jobs, careers, or companies and are looking to make a change. Often the dissatisfaction they feel has been with them for a long time, simmering in the background. On the "bad days" they are ready to walk out the door without looking back. But then things settle down again, they are back quietly grumbling to themselves and feeling less than contented with their decision to "stay a little longer." They become increasingly frustrated with their own indecisiveness ("What's wrong with me?") and have no clue as to how to solve the twin riddles: "Should I leave or should I stay?" and "How will I know when it is the right time to leave?"

The good news is that there are objective clues that you can use in such a situation to help you decide whether it's a time for "watchful waiting" or time to get the heck out of there. If you consciously identify the clues that are meaningful to you, and then watch for them in your work environment, you will be in a better position to make an informed decision about what to do, rather than reacting when the next irritating event triggers a flood of stress hormones that make bailing out seem like the only rational choice in the moment.

The clues listed below can serve as your criteria for evaluating how bad things really are - long term - not just in the moment.

1. When you don't feel like your contributions are appreciated or making any difference to the success of the company.

2. When you don't respect the people you work for or with.

3. When differences of opinion are not valued and embraced, but simply lead to ego fights and hurt feelings.

4. When you feel that your ethics or values are being compromised.

5. When the days that you feel work is a drag far exceed the days that you feel that work is meaningful, fulfilling, and fun.

6. When you believe that your key skills, talents, and abilities are not being used. When you have to check a good part of "who you are" when you walk through the door.

7. When one person is doing all the work, and that one person is you.

8. When you find yourself constantly holding yourself back from saying what you know needs to be said, or not telling the truth.

9. When the things that attracted you to the job (or career or company) are no longer there (e.g., stable company, learning and growth opportunities, competitive salary, stimulating environment, compatible colleagues).

10. When you have gone as far as you can and see no possibility for future advancement.

11. When the culture has changed (e.g., become too formal, oppressive, routinized, time-conscious, somber, backstabbing).

12. When all the people you enjoyed and respected have left (e.g., been laid off, fired, or left out of frustration).

13. When you have lost your sense of purpose.

14. When the company shifts into a business cycle you are not comfortable with (e.g., enters a rapid growth cycle, is acquired by another company, or shifts product or marketing focus).

15. You feel mind-numbingly bored.

16. When you find yourself forced to compromise your own standards to meet the company definition of "success".

17. When the commitment to clear and open communication goes out the window.

18. When you are so drained at the end of each day that you have no time for a fulfilling life outside of work.

These are just some of the key indicators that you can use to help you rationally evaluate your situation. The important thing is to identify those specific clues that highlight the criteria that are meaningful to you - that help you tap into and assess the attributes of the job or environment that are critical for your ability to thrive and succeed. Sometimes the nature of your job can change subtly over time, and you may be staying in your job because you are living in the memory of how things used to be - or conversely hoping for a vision of a better future that may never materialize. By arming yourself with objective criteria, and watching for clues that things relative to these criteria are getting better or getting worse, you can put yourself more in control of your decision to leave or stay.

Beware the emotional ties that bind you to a bad situation. I have worked with several clients who feel guilty when they think about leaving a job or company because they feel they will be "abandoning" their boss or their colleagues. Each person has to address this concern in accordance with their own values, but I ask that you at least consider the following. As an adult you have the privilege and responsibility of continuously assessing your work situation, and deciding if the value you gain by staying exceeds the value you would gain by leaving. Your boss and your colleagues are also adults - and each one has to make the tradeoff themselves. You cannot do it for them. We all need and value different things in our work environment. Even in a "bad" work situation some people may choose to stay for the money, for the perceived security, for the benefits, etc. and some are just biding their time. It is important to decide, and do, what is right for you, and trust that they will do the same.

One last thought. When it begins to look like leaving is the most attractive alternative, it is time to start exploring your options and "planning your way out." To the extent possible given the situation, you want to be able to leave on your terms and on your own time schedule. And even more importantly, rather than simply moving away from a bad situation, you want to have something much better to move toward. Times of transition offer you the opportunity to do something you may not have done for years - get back in touch with who you are and what you really want to do with your life. In the press of everyday obligations such questions may seem superfluous. But when a transition looms they are essential.

What is your point of view? Please post your thoughts on the discussion board.

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