If you're mildly miserable, totally disgruntled, fearful, or just overwhelmed, you're in good company. Millions of people are asking themselves why they've bought into company dogma, their boss's crap, and the idea of working 5-7 days a week; on call virtually 24/7. Seriously wondering "how did this happen to me?"

The answer is simple: you wanted success, and you bought into the American dream of being a hard-working, solid citizen. You thought you were doing the right thing choosing the field you did. Maybe it offered stability and security or glamour. Now what seemed like a smart strategy is getting old.

Like many, you were probably seduced by two big urban work myths. They've been promoted in business journals and through families and well-meaning friends, so you didn't even think to question them. In America, hard work offers a medal of honor; it's the antidote to depression and low self-esteem. And it promises that financial success will erase whatever ails you. It's not completely true.

Myth #1: Your business success will transform you and ensure you'll have a fabulous personal life that's full of great friends and the love of your life.

Real Deal: What it takes to have business success often requires burying real feelings and your emotions. Paradoxically, having access to your feelings and emotions is the very thing that ensures a satisfying life and great relationship. Have you ever met a workaholic with a terrific marriage or great people skills? I haven't.

Myth #2: Business success banishes the blues; your esteem will be so high and your finances in such good shape that your blue days will be over. The blues are reserved only for losers or low salary earners.

Real Deal: Single-mindedness about business success contributes to isolation and emptiness; eventually the blues catch up with you, and you'll find yourself running to get a prescription for happy drugs.

Now what? Work is just one aspect of your life. It's not the panacea for all that ails you. Don't defer living your life in favor of working more hours. If you believe you'll be more interesting, marketable, or loveable after you get your next promotion, you'll remain in a holding pattern without any satisfaction. Because after the promotion you'll get restless again and chase after something new, postponing your life once again until no one's waiting for you anymore.

You've got to love and appreciate yourself and your life right now. If that's a stretch, consider yourself "under construction" and accept yourself as is. Commit yourself to adventure and start cultivating interests: take extension classes, participate in recreational activities, and cultivate relationships. If you can't imagine doing it, punish yourself with pleasure, and force yourself to do something light, exciting, or fun. After awhile, you'll get used to it, and your life will become more robust. It'll be easier to be with yourself.

Like you may have guessed, you'll have to shift your priorities about who and what comes first. That changes the relationship you'll have with your job, the company and the boss. They can't be #1 anymore. You're responsible for crafting your own life and setting priorities that you don't blow off. Also, lower the expectations you have about your company and what they'll do for you. You are the only one who can make yourself happy, and create the inner satisfaction you yearn for. Now that's real success!

What is your point of view? Please post your thoughts on the discussion board.

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