Of all the things that keep people stuck in dead-end jobs and unsatisfying careers fear is the most common and the most difficult to overcome without the proper "tools." Without these tools you can find yourself frozen - unable to pick a direction, plot a course, or take action. When you "own" these tools your fear will recede into the background and you will be able to move through it, around it, and in spite of it.

Tool #1. Know your enemy

Fear is an insidious emotion. It can be a sharp and tightly focused reaction to a specific stimulus (like when someone points a gun at your head or you just barely avoid a car accident). But more often it is nebulous - and tends to roll in silently like a fog - dark and threatening, but amorphous. This is the most dangerous kind of fear and the most likely to get you stuck - it is the "unnamed fear." The first tool you need is to be able to recognize when you are under the control of fear.

Fear can be hard to spot

Fear is hard to describe - although you can sometimes "see" fear in others (in fact humans are very good at recognizing fear in the eyes of others); what you most often see are the RESULTS of fear. Fear influences your perceptions and colors your beliefs, drives your actions (e.g., anger is often a reaction to fear), influences your communication and your willingness to collaborate with others, halts creativity and (according to the author Art Horn) even creates different personality types - including worriers, control freaks, fakes, attention-seekers, victims and prisoners. So the first step in recognizing when you are in the grip of fear is to look at your behavior and ask yourself some questions, for example:

• Am I angry?
• Am I withdrawing?
• Is my creativity down the tubes?
• Am I worried all the time?
• Am I stuck and frozen?

Most people resist looking at and recognizing their fear, perhaps because they associate feeling fear as a sign of weakness. The fact is everyone experiences fear. What differentiates people is that some get stopped by fear and some don't. As Dr. Phil always says, "You can't change what you don't acknowledge." If you are unwilling to recognize and acknowledge your fear you will be controlled by it.

Fear is very individual

Fear is difficult to describe because the feeling is uniquely individual. While fear is a universal emotion, people experience the "symptoms" of fear (e.g., agitation, uneasiness, anxiety, sick feeling in the pit of the stomach, rapid heart rate) in different ways based upon their physiology and upbringing. To some people the adrenaline rush associated with certain activities such as rock climbing, bungee jumping, race car driving, or zip lining is interpreted as delicious excitement - to others it is experienced as abject FEAR. So the second step to recognizing when you are in the grip of fear is to become familiar with your own physical reactions to fear and your own triggers.

There is more than one kind of fear

People can experience "good fear" and "bad fear." Good fear is what you feel when you step outside of your comfort zone just enough to experience a thrill but not enough to feel seriously threatened. Again, what is thrilling and what is threatening is open to individual interpretation. However, it seems that a key factor in determining the degree or severity of fear is the perceived level of control you have over the situation. If you feel "out of control" your fear will most likely be experienced as the negative kind - if you are "in control" it will be more positive. A simple example of this can be seen in elite athletes or stunt people who appear to do "crazy" things like running marathons in the blazing heat of the desert or jumping motorcycles over parked trucks. But because of their physical and mental preparedness they feel in control of what they do don't feel in any way that they are being reckless. The third step in recognizing when you are in the grip of fear - and how damaging it is to your psyche and your behavior - is to ask yourself, "How much control do I feel I have in this situation?"

Tool #2. Give it a name

One of the big reasons that fear retains its power to disrupt your life is because as long as it is fearful but fuzzy it is hard to do anything about it. When you can clearly define what you are afraid of - when you can give it a name - then it becomes 100 times more easy to tackle.

Here is an example to get you thinking. When people are contemplating a job or career change there they often feel a great deal of nebulous fear. But upon closer reflection what they are really reacting to are some very specific "fears" that when uncovered can be dealt with once they are on the table:

1. I am afraid I will make a bad choice and that any new job or environment will be worse then where I am now
2. I am afraid of the unknown
3. I am afraid that I will disappoint people at my current job (e.g., boss, colleagues) when I leave
4. I am afraid that I will lose out on potential opportunities that may be available to me at my current job
5. I am afraid that I will lose my identity
6. I am afraid I will fail at a new job

Tool #3. Understand that fear is just an emotion

Fear is just an emotion - like happiness or sadness. Yet isn't it interesting how somehow fear can get you stopped in your tracks much more than any other emotion? When you experience happiness I can bet you don't sit down and say, "I'm so happy it is getting me stuck!" And even when you are feeling deep sadness, most often there is a voice in your head that is comforting you with the thought that, "I know that this feeling will pass in time and I will be able to move forward again." Yet somehow when the emotion is FEAR it feels absolute - like a brick wall in your path with no end and no way over. It is important to recognize fear for what it is - it is just an emotion. It is not who you are and does not need to define how you act. You may not be able to keep from feeling it but you can move forward in spite of it.

Tool #4. Build the muscle of "acting through the fear"

Being able to take action in the face of fear is a muscle you can build. Each time you experience fear and let it stop you that muscle atrophies. Each time you experience fear and take action to move in spite of it, you build that muscle and the self confidence that accompanies it. So when you recognize you are in a state of fear ask yourself the following question: "Is the fear coloring my perceptions, my decisions, and my actions?" If the answer is "yes" then acknowledge the fear, get clear on how and in what ways the fear is influencing you, then make a plan and move forward. Start taking action - even baby steps will be tremendously valuable in building momentum and strengthening your resolve and your ability to move through the fear.

The bottom line:

If your reaction to fear is to say, "I can't...," then you are going to get stuck and stay stuck. If you use the tools above to recognize when you are in a state of fear, give it a name, understand it is just an emotion, ask yourself "How can I...?", and build the muscle of moving forward in spite of your fear - then you are on your way!

What is your point of view? Please post your thoughts on the discussion board.

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