Finding a life and career path that fits who you are and provides what you need and want is a goal worth pursuing. But on your journey of discovery there is a good chance you may encounter a mirage - an image that shimmers brightly off in the distance - an image that seems to embody all that you are after - and one that seems just the guiding light you need to inspire you toward your goal. I call this image "the perfect path." But rather than being the vision you need to draw you forward toward a better future, your image of the "the perfect path" can turn out to be just the opposite - the anchor that holds you back.

What is the "Myth of the Perfect Path" and why is it dangerous?

When we are unhappy with our current circumstances we often find ourselves imagining a better future. We struggle to catch glimpses of what it would be like to feel the opposite of what we are feeling now:

Energized instead of exhausted

Inspired instead of dragging through the day

Creative instead of dull of mind

We long to kindle or re-kindle a fire inside that will light us up and launch us in a frenzy of inspired action. We can imagine quite clearly the feelings we are after and we also believe that we have an image of what will bring us to the place where these feelings flow freely. We give this image a name - "The Perfect Path" - as in, "I am going to find my perfect path." But if you look closely at your image of the "perfect path" you may notice it has a serious problem. Often the image has no substance. It is nothing more than words suspended in your head "THE PERFECT PATH." We tell ourselves, "When I find the perfect path, the one that I was meant to be on, then my life will be great." Unfortunately, the concept of "the perfect path" can actually be self-defeating because it often emerges from the confluence of three underlying dangerous assumptions:

1. I need to justify my desire to change - to myself and others

Many times the image of "the perfect path" is created to justify making a change. There is no denying that change can be disruptive - to your own life and the lives of those around you (e.g., friends, family, and colleagues). Often we conjure up the myth of the perfect path because we will not allow ourselves the luxury of making a change, nor do we believe that others around us will allow us to change, unless we have a REALLY GOOD REASON.

You may feel the need to create a "really good reason" (i.e., the image of the perfect path) if:

• You feel guilty that you are not happy now - after all everyone tells you that you have the perfect job or the perfect relationship(s).
• You secretly believe that there is something wrong with you. You tell yourself, "If I could just make a small internal change (e.g., get some self esteem, recover from burnout) then I could be happy just where I am and would not need to change."
• You are sure that if you can convincingly share with others the "great things" you are going after then they will understand and approve of what you are doing.

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