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If you tell yourself and others that you are on the hunt for the perfect path - how could anyone deny you the right to move forward? Perhaps there is some truth in this belief, but do you really need to justify your desire to make a change? And what if the real path that fits you perfectly and brings you the work/life balance that you have always wanted simply is not as "impressive" to others as your current job or relationship - is that so important?

2. Any change worth making must be huge and significant

Setting a goal to find anything "perfect" can be counterproductive. The leap from where you are to your perfect future can seem so far that you don't dare make a move lest you fall into the intervening chasm. To keep from making a dangerous misstep you may engage in endless mental analysis or be reluctant to actively engage in experimental actions. So you remain paralyzed.

Sometimes making any change is better than staying put - even if the step you take is not immediately onto your perfect path. Here are some reasons why taking a small step is often more energizing then waiting to take the perfect step:

• It gets you actively engaged in the change process. You learn new tools and how to apply them.
• It shifts your perspective. Sometimes you need to move into a different position and establish a new anchor point from which to assess your situation.
• Sometimes you need to first "step backward" in order to be able to step forward in the future. For example, you may need to take on a new less demanding role to allow yourself to recover from burnout and regenerate the energy you need to continue your journey. There is almost always a pulling back (from external connections) and a turning inward that is required to prepare for a new phase.
• Most often the true picture of where you need to go reveals itself in sequential stages as you take small steps. If you expect to see the whole perfect picture before you take a step it may never happen. If you start moving forward you allow the grand forces of serendipity and synchronicity to come into play. Often you won't be able to see all of the things that make a particular path wonderful by examining it from the "outside." Sometimes not until you try it will the full grandeur of a given path reveal itself.
• It confirms your faith that you can make a change. When you see yourself taking steps, moving forward, and being able to deal with the consequences of your actions, you build the internal strength and confidence to make additional changes. You construct a mini-history of successful steps that will make each new step easier.
• Your self esteem builds as you see yourself taking steps to move away from a situation that you may have known for years is not right for you. Believe it or not, most people who come to me for help in making a career or life change have been contemplating getting out of their current situations for a period of 3 to 5 years! They have told themselves over and over during that time that they are "crazy" to stay where they are - and each time they continued on without making a change their self-esteem plummeted another notch.

Searching for your perfect path is something akin to searching for your perfect mate. While it is good to come armed with criteria for what you want, your perfect solution may not always be exactly what you envisioned.

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