3. There is only one perfect path

In the past many people lived lives constrained by the expectations of others. They became doctors, or lawyers, or teachers because it was their parent's fervent desire. Today, even as we recognize and free ourselves from the expectations of others, we often simultaneously ensnare ourselves in a new trap - one that is of our own making. We embrace the concept that there is something specific that we are meant to do with your lives. Implicit in this concept are two constraining sub-beliefs: (1) that there is only one right path for us, and (2) that we need to "discover" our path (which is somehow pre-ordained) versus choosing our path.

It is a myth to believe that there is only one ultimate right thing for you to do. What is the most natural and enjoyable path for you at one point in your life may be different than at another point. Chances are you will have lots of paths that will appeal to you over time. In fact, many people feel the most fulfilled when they allow themselves to engage in several paths sequentially - knowing that each provides them an opportunity to explore and develop a different aspect of their skill set and/or personality.

It is true that there are definitely paths that will suit you better than others based on who you are and how you work best - and some dramatically so. But the key shift is to realize that instead of feeling pressured to discover that "one right path you were meant to be on," you can choose to explore one or many paths.

The Bottom Line:

I am a great believer in designing your life versus living by default. But I also see the trap in believing that in designing your life you need to find that one "perfect path." In fact, I sincerely believe that the concept of searching for "the perfect path" is not the helpful vision it appears to be, but rather just a form of self-imposed pressure we apply in the hopes of driving ourselves to make a much needed change. We use it to convince ourselves and others that we have the right to change.

You can release the pressure and still make the changes you want if you embrace the idea that you can choose your own path, make changes without need for external justification, and experiment without having to see the whole perfect picture in your head before you begin. The real lesson is that you can define a path, make a change, collect feedback and then adjust. Once in motion, if you keep doing more of what "works" and less of what doesn't work your path will evolve in the right direction organically and effortlessly.