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WITI HEALTH
Venting Can Be Healthy!
For the record, I absolutely believe being independent is a very good thing; I consider myself fiercely independent and like it that way. However, it's time to learn that admitting a need and reaching out to someone for help, input, or just to a listening ear does not take away our power of independence or diminish our worthiness one iota. Airing our frustrations, or "venting," is just a healthy thing to do! Many years ago, one of my closest friends, Lois, a nurse from Canada and now a brilliant psychologist, and I decided it would be a good idea if we scheduled venting sessions together. Neither Lois nor I were into complaining, but we always had challenges to deal with. So, we developed a technique that really worked, scheduling periodic venting sessions that went like this: Variation One: I get the entire time focused on all of the things that are driving me crazy; you listen with understanding and no judgment. I will let you know if I want solutions or just want you to listen. NOTHING I say is out of bounds. I do not have to be rational, analytical or logical; I can be downright wacko, irrational and crazed - it's ok - and we know once it's done, it's done and it never goes further! Variation Two: I get 1/2 the time to vent with the same rules as variation 1, then you get the other 1/2 of the time, again with the same rules. Try it and let me know what happens. I am convinced this is one of the healthiest things we can do. Getting all that poison out of our system leaves space for the things we want to build, create and move forward with.
Do you have techniques or rituals that have helped you cope? Share them on WITI's discussion board.
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Many of us became so irritated by the whole "victim" story we encountered during the feminist movement that we have swung all the way to the other extreme, becoming defiant about the slightest suggestion of needing help or not having everything under control.