When our lives are a mess and we are feeling “stuck” we naturally seek to discover what is “causing” our problems so that we can make things better. And in our search for causes it is all too easy to resort to citing the “obvious” ones:

No Time
No Energy
Overwhelmed
Burned Out

But in reality these are not root “causes” - they are symptoms. And while there are certainly techniques you can learn to overcome time management problems, lack of energy problems, overwhelm and burnout, often a too intense focus on these top- level indicators prevents a deeper and more revealing inquiry into the subtler factors that keep you stuck.

Recognizing what is really getting in your way is a key first step to breaking free and getting moving again. But simply trying to sit in a corner and ask yourself, “What might be getting me stuck?” is usually just a frustrating and fruitless endeavor. It’s just too hard to think in a vacuum – especially when our thinking is naturally circumscribed by our own viewpoints, assumptions, background and baggage. Often the easiest first step to gaining insight into your personal roadblocks is to take a sneak peak at what keeps other people stuck and then ask yourself, “Can that be getting in my way also?” For that reason, I have summarized below just some of the over 200 key things that I have personally witnessed that get people stuck. If you see yourself in any of these descriptions you will have taken a first key step in moving beyond a fixation on top-level symptoms to begin looking at deeper causes.

Common Things that Keep People Stuck

1. Adopting roles you have not chosen. And not realizing it.

2. Looking for “the answer” to a question or a problem in one particular way.

You ask a question of yourself, a friend, the universe and look to receive a sign in a particular way. You close yourself off from the possibility that you may get the answer in a way that you did not expect.

3. Your natural rhythm is too fast to allow the space for big changes to occur.

4. No criteria for deciding what is important for you to do (e.g., what job or career path you want, what legacy you want to leave, what your priorities are). Also, no definition for what “success” means to you.

5. Waiting for your calling in life – “what you were meant to do” - to hit you like a lightening bolt.

The words of the author Po Bronson are closer to the reality for most of us:

“Most of us don’t get epiphanies. We only get a whisper – a faint urge. That’s it. That’s the call. It’s up to you to do the work of discovery, to connect it to an answer.”

6. Not realizing that what you think is your greatest weakness may be your greatest strength – and thus not fully embracing your greatest weakness.

For example, if you think your sensitivity is a great weakness you may never realize that your ability to see, feel and sense things in a profoundly deep way is a gift that allows you to experience things and have insights at a level others may never know.

7. Not realizing that your greatest strength also comes with a shadow side.

Here are two examples: If your greatest strength is your creativity (e.g., your talent in music or art) you may feel driven by your gift, unable to walk away from it or scale back on your commitment to it. If your greatest strength is your boundless energy and enthusiasm then when you need to make big changes in your life, your natural “full speed ahead” pace may not allow you the full thinking space you need to consider your options.

8. Believing that in any given situation there is one right decision that you have to find.

Not fully understanding that most decisions involve tradeoffs and that decisions are not necessarily ultimately right or wrong – but they certainly do lead to different outcomes.

9. Unable to distinguish between your perceptions and your assumptions.

Your assumptions about what is true or real are shaped by your own personal history, upbringing and baggage. They can keep you from perceiving what is really happening and what is really needed in the moment. Many people simply act as if their assumptions are true – they never think to question them.

10. Trying to hide your uniqueness instead of embracing it - and finding ways to allow it to enrich your life and the lives of others.

11. Not trusting your intuition or realizing that there are proactive ways to grow your intuition.

12. Believing that if you encounter a road block your dream is dead.

Not fully realizing that it is “you” that create and sustain your dream and that obstacles are only things you sometimes encounter when you are taking one path to that dream – and there are thousands of possible paths.

13. Not realizing that you can continue walking forward even if you can’t yet picture your final destination.

14. Believing that with your logical mind you can fully think through in advance all the steps you must take to make something happen, and further believing that you must do that.

In reality, all plans, actions and endeavors evolve over time as you begin taking steps and your envisioned plans come into contact with reality. You don’t need to know everything in advance – just enough to get started.

15. Desensitized/numb

The longer you ignore the things that bug you and sap your energy the more you become numb and weaken your intuition.

16. No plan and no accountability – you just drift.

17. Not having someone who can offer you the outside perspective necessary to see where you are stuck and partner with you in getting unstuck - no teacher, coach, mentor, or role model.

The Bottom Line

Our current thoughts and actions can only be based on what we are consciously aware of and we all live in various stages of “unconsciousness” and “unawareness.” We confuse symptoms and causes and can’t quite see what is really getting in our way. Perhaps if you have been able to see yourself in any of the above situations that commonly keep people stuck it will help you awaken to what is really keeping you stuck. And gaining insight into the deeper causes is an essential first step for identifying a lasting solution.