Those who are contemplating, or in the process of making, major life or career changes often look at what they are experiencing and wonder, “Is this normal?” They ask themselves questions such as, “Does everyone spend countless hours thinking about the changes they want to make but shy away from actually taking the necessary steps?” “Is everyone as clueless as I am as to where to start or what process to follow to actually make it happen?” “Is it normal to start and stop a couple of times in the process?” Based on my experience of working with hundreds of life and career changers I would like to share seven observations I’ve made about the nature of the change process and common experiences that people have along the way.

1. Most people contemplate making a change long before they do anything about it

From my experience most people who end up making successful life or career changes don’t do so as the result of a snap decision. Most have been thinking about making a change for quite a long time – usually somewhere between one and three years. Often they have tried several times to talk themselves into making the change, for example by telling themselves one of the following:

• I am damaging my health by continuing to do what I have been doing
• I know I need to “get out” and I am only staying because I am weak or stupid
• My relationships are suffering because my job is consuming all my thoughts and my energy
• I simply can’t take it anymore

But such internal dialogues often happen sporadically and are not accompanied by action. Things seem to die down for awhile, only to resurface when some event triggers another round of self-examination.

Other times, people will actually take some small steps – will step to the edge of making a major change – but then will step back again.

The good news is that all this “preparation” – this self-talk and shuffling forward and backward - is helpful in preparing the way for the final change. Deep in our hearts we have not abandoned the possibility of change – we have just put it on the shelf temporarily – and eventually the “right time” shows up.