Tool 1: When you want to ask someone to do something that feels important to you but difficult to say (for example, if you want to ask someone to stop criticizing you, making jokes about your weight, or interrupting you) try using the following sequence:

“Do you realize that you are x, y, z (describe the offending behavior)?”

“I ask that you stop (describe the offending behavior).”

The phrasing “I ask that you…” is very effective and usually heard and understood without causing a reaction in the other person.

Tool 2: How to say “No.” A common habitual pattern is to say “yes” when inside you are saying “no” to a particular request that someone makes of you. Here again, sometimes all it takes to reestablish a free flowing link between your thoughts and words is a simple tool – a way to say “no” that feels comfortable. Try Googling “how to say no” for a wealth of ideas. You can also visit www.personalandbusinesssuccess.com for 10 top ways to say, “No.” Then pick one or more that feels right and give it a try in a non-threatening situation. With practice you can end the restrictive practice of not saying exactly what you mean.

Bottom Line
It can be useful to envision your life energy as a river and the contractive mental and physical patterns that you create and perpetuate as the debris that creates a dam in your system. Contractive thoughts and actions constrict your world, your thinking, and your available range of actions. The opposite of contracting and constricting is expansion. To release your river and reconnect with your energy think expansion – be expansive in your breathing, your physical movements, your thinking and your speaking. Get rid of the debris that dams your personal river, release it and let it flow.

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