The Secret of Meaningful Communication
By Jane Herman
- It is an illusion that we all understand each other when we use the same words. As pointed out by Bandler and Grinder in their book “Frogs into Princes”, “…since words internally access different experiences – which they must – then there’s always going to be a difference in meaning. There’s a slippage between the word and the experience, there’s also a slippage between my corresponding experience for a word and your corresponding experience for the same word.”
- You need to pay careful attention to the cues that you receive about what your communication actually meant to your recipient. All too often we ignore the subtleties of the responses we get from others, or get them confused with our own internal “interpretations” of what is happening and what it means. It is important to work to clear your sensory channels so that you can pick up on what is actually happening versus your own interpretation.
The Bottom Line
Most of us are familiar with the many tools we can use to alter the format and implied meaning of our communications - for example by changing our tone of voice, wording, inflection, pacing, and accompanying body language. But what we really need to master is the art of watching the reactions of others, sensing and understanding their responses to what we say, so that we can make the necessary adjustments that will help insure we come closer to delivering the real message we intend.
Jane Herman is the Personal and Business Success Coach who helps managers, executives, and individuals take control of their lives and reinvent themselves, their careers, or their businesses. To receive a complimentary 30-minute coaching session with Jane, and/or sign up for Jane's free Success Tools electronic newsletter, log onto
www.PersonalAndBusinessSuccess.com or email her at
Jane@PersonalAndBusinessSuccess.com.
