Every action you take creates a dynamic that leads to further actions and reactions. When you take an action it does not have one simple effect – rather it begins a process or creates an environment that can have vast and unanticipated consequences. Each step you take branches you onto a different path, opening up new possibilities for future actions and interactions.

Why do we resist experimenting?

There are lots of reasons that we resist experimenting – here are three of the most powerful ones:

• We dislike chaos

Most people find comfort in structure – whether it be the structure of fixed and familiar ideas or the structure of time and actions provided by the bounds of a known job or relationship. Experimentation by its very nature involves the messy process of shaking things up – of throwing new and unfamiliar elements into the mix. Bottom line – destabilizing our current structures makes us nervous.

• We fear our own negative judgment

Most of us are our own worst critics. We tend to judge ourselves and our actions more harshly than our worst enemies. “Why in the world did I do that?” “Why did I say that?” “How could I be such a fool?” We want to avoid doing anything that could bring on a barrage of self criticism. By nature, the outcome of an experiment is unknown and thus experiments can “fail.”

• We fear the judgment of others

Experimenting means trying something new and risking all sorts of negative reactions from others who may not like our new outcomes. We risk hearing the spoken assaults (e.g., “That was sure a stupid thing to do”), the unspoken but obvious cold shoulder, or the dreaded, “I told you so.” The more passionately you care about the reactions of others the more you are literally “putting your self esteem on the line” when you experiment.