We all need something to restore our perspective when it gets out of whack – when we find ourselves in difficult situations - when the tension, anger or anxiety are growing and our self control and logical thinking are going out the window. Keeping disruptive emotions and impulses in check is vital both at work and in your personal life. That is why it is essential to pre-arm yourself with tools you can use to restore your balance when you begin to tip over the edge.

When things get difficult you need techniques to “self soothe” – to calm yourself down and relax your body and mind so that you can deal with the situation or “let it go” without doing long term damage to your self, your relationships, or your reputation.

What Are Some Traditional Self Soothing Tools?

Many people believe that the goal of self soothing skills is to comfort yourself emotionally by doing things that are sensually pleasant (but not harmful) so that you focus your full attention on sensory inputs – on what you are physically experiencing in the moment - so that you get outside of your own head and away from troubling thoughts, feelings, and impulses. They suggest that you stimulate the senses by such techniques as the following:

To stimulate your visual sense - buy a beautiful flower or light a candle and watch the flame.

To stimulate your sense of hearing - listen to beautiful or soothing music or pay attention to the sounds of nature (waves, birds, rainfall).

To stimulate your sense of smell - use your favorite perfume or lotion or put lemon oil on your furniture. Etc.

But can you imagine what would happen if you tried to use any of these techniques at work when in the middle of an intense situation, or in the middle of an argument with your friend or spouse? Sometimes it is not possible to opt for sensory stimulation in the middle of a meltdown. Sometimes you need a better or more appropriate tool and I believe the self soothing phrases are just the ticket.