Uncertainty is a Good Thing
I came across an ad (for Pricewaterhouse Coopers) in the Los Angeles Times newspaper the other day that said: “Uncertainty is the human emotion that surfaces right before genius emerges.” I stopped and reread this phrase two or three times because it seemed to ring so true. I thought about the fact that every single coaching client I have ever worked with that wanted to make a significant change in their life – to close one stable “chapter” of their life and begin a new one – moved through this interim stage of confusion. And to them it felt like a dangerous place.
Let’s take a tour of the land of uncertainty and confusion that each of us will enter at some point in our lives and explore some interesting questions:
- Why does it feel so dangerous?
- What is really going on in these situations?
- Why is confusion necessary and good?
- How can you get through it to the other side?
Confusion feels dangerous for several reasons. By its very nature confusion mean you are bewildered, perplexed, and unsure – of what to say or do, of which options to chose, or which path is the right one. Order and predictability are on the way out and chaos appears to be on the way in. Things that used to make you feel happy, secure, energized, and successful no longer produce the desired effect. You become unmoored from the anchor points in your life and begin to drift. And often there is no destination in sight. So the drifting itself is scary – you feel lost. Who in their right mind wouldn’t feel frightened in such a situation and consider it unwelcome and dangerous?
What is really going on in these situations?
In the ultimate sense when you are in a state of confusion it simply means that things are not going as you wanted or expected – that the mental model and framework you created for your life is no longer working and that you need a new one. Tasks, jobs, careers, relationships that once formed the pleasing stable boundaries and structures of your life may have become too familiar, or too repetitive, or too boring, or for whatever reason just no longer “fit” with who you are or who you are becoming. This is neither bad nor good, right or wrong – it just is.
Why is confusion necessary and good?
If you are to continue to learn and grow and move from one phase of your life to the next, it is essential that you enter into the interim phase of confusion on your journey. As Bandler and Grinder explained in their book ReFraming, “Confusion is the doorway to reorganizing your perceptions and learning something new. If you were never confused, that would mean that everything that happened to you fit your expectations, your model of the world, perfectly. Life would simply be one boring, repetitive experience after another. Confusion is a signal that something doesn’t fit, and that you have a chance to learn something new.”
How can you get through it?
There are several tools that can help you move though natural periods of confusion to get to the other side. Here are just a few:
- Recognize when you are in a state of confusion
- Recognize that being confused is a natural and even helpful stage that offers you an opportunity to learn something new
- Keep moving forward
When you feel stuck, trapped, or immobilized there are actually two positive paths you can take and a third one that will get you nowhere. One positive path you can try is to see if it is possible, practical, or desirable to simply modify or reinvent the existing chapter of your life through incremental changes or enhancements (for example, by staying in the same career field but changing companies; or staying in the same company, but changing departments). The second path is to end the old chapter and begin a transition toward a new chapter by exploring, planning, training, etc. The third is to remain stuck in the whining and complaining stage – unfortunately this is the path that often feels more comfortable and familiar than setting out on a new journey - but it will only prolong your state of confusion. If you need help to navigate a transition to a new phase then by all means seek out the resources you need to support you (e.g., a book, course, coach, mentor) but whatever you do keep moving forward.
The Bottom Line
Confusion exists when what you thought you knew no longer works and the boundaries of your life and your thought processes loosen enough to let in new breakthrough ideas and actions. Confusion is like the storm before the calm – it is an unstable period that allows you to notice and consider things that simply would have remained invisible during your stable times. It opens your horizons and unhinges your rigid beliefs. It is a well known fact that some of the greatest revolutionary new inventions have been made by people who came from outside of the field they were inventing in – simply because they were not bound by the rigid set of beliefs instilled in those who were “educated” in the field. Let the same be true for you when you are reinventing your life. Embrace your periods of confusion and uncertainty as you allow the rigid thought patterns and behaviors that have constrained you in the past to loosen and fall away. Allow your state of confusion to be the birthplace where your genius emerges.