“I’d like to network with you.” How do you feel when someone says that to you? After surveying a countless number of professionals in my seminars, I see the same reaction: they cringe. People don’t like the concept of being “networked with.” There’s an implication of being used, of being put on the spot, of being asked for names when you’re not sure that you want to share any.

Although we all realize networking is important, we have an instinctive reaction against it when we’re on the receiving end. How do we change that reaction so that both teams want to play ball, especially when you’re the one who is seeking new information or relationships? There’s a tactic and a strategy to encourage others to open up to you, then you can start developing your dragonflies and pelicans.
Where these articles are headed

In these articles in the WITI Career Newsletter, we’re exploring six different strategies for growing within your job and/or your company:

     • The Inverse Security Monster: Recognizing and defending against it
     • WIIFM and BOSOC: Alphabets that spell "Career Success"
     • The Yogi Berra Approach to Career Planning?
     • Killer Competitiveness: Becoming a job magnet
>> • Networks that Last: Dragonflies and Pelicans
     • Building your Reputation: The 5 points of being a star

These six topics build on each other, so you can catch up on the earlier ones with the links. Developing career management skills for the long term can never start too soon. Building a core competency in career management along with your technical and managerial ones will let you start shaping where you’re heading. Watch both your company and you prosper!

Networks that Last: Dragonflies and Pelicans

The tactic and the strategy that encourage others to open up, i.e. network, are straightforward, but have a lot of planning behind them to get it right. To get started with the tactic, however, simply don’t use the word “network.” Don’t use the word and you don’t get the immediate, knee-jerk response. We’ll use the word “network” here as shorthand, but it’s when you’re talking to others that you downplay it. Concepts like “pick your brain,” “cup of coffee,” and “trade ideas” all are more effective, but they require you to think through the strategy first.

The strategy is: start by helping. What can you do to help the person with whom you’d like to “network”? Helping others with their work and their lives not only makes them want to help you in return, but it is also satisfying and sincere, a much more effective approach that gets people to return calls and pursue you instead of your pursuing them. (Read the “Network as the Norm” chapter in The New Job Security for details and examples.) What’s not to like?

As you start building relationships that are part of your career network, you’ll find that they fit into two categories: dragonflies or pelicans. Dr. Herminia Ibarra, a professor of Organizational Behavior at INSEAD, defines them as “long term, high-reciprocity ties,” and “short-term, instrumental ties.” You need both for a strong network.