Self esteem is a tricky concept. Everyone wants it but most people are convinced that they don’t have nearly enough of it. So how do you go about getting more? I am a strong believer that at the core of self esteem you will find a skill that differentiates those who have high self esteem from those who don’t – and I also strongly believe this skill is learnable. So let’s explore the following: What exactly is self esteem? What is the core skill that supports it? How can you learn that core skill?

What is self esteem?

Over the years I have heard many definitions of self esteem but the one that rings true to me is the following: it is belief in yourself. More specifically, it is the belief that in all situations you will be okay – that you will be able to do something, think of something, or say something that will “work” so that you can keep moving forward instead of being stopped dead in your tracks.

How can self esteem be learned?

I ask you to consider the following logic: if self esteem is a belief that in all different kinds of situations you will be able to figure out a “way through” or a “solution” – then absolutely central to your sense of self esteem is an ability to identify, evaluate and decide upon “options.” And unless you know how to “identify viable options” in a given situation, you will have nothing to evaluate or decide upon. So knowing how to generate viable options is the key – and this is a skill you can learn.