I am willing to bet that there is something going on in your head that is keeping you stuck and closing down your options unnecessarily - and that you are not consciously aware of it. Why am I so sure? Because it happens to almost everyone. It is an unconscious glitch in your thinking process that translates a common four-letter word into a deceptively dangerous three-letter word, and that’s when the problems begin. The four-letter word is ‘what’ – the three-letter word is ‘how,’ and it is the ‘how’ word that can stop you cold.

‘What’ is a wonderful word. It opens up vast realms of possibility and encourages you to express your needs and desires. “What do you want to do? What do you want to be? What do you want to have? What restaurant do you want to go to for dinner? What movie do you want to watch?” The problem is that most people simply cannot respond directly to a ‘what’ question without simultaneously considering the ‘how’: “How would I do that? Get that? Be that?” If they can’t immediately see a clear path as to ‘how’ they would accomplish the ‘what,’ their thinking process derails and they give up on the ‘what.’

The immediate jump from ‘what’ to ‘how’ affects decisions and actions large and small. Here are two examples of how a ‘what’ question can open an important inquiry and a ‘how’ can almost immediately shut it down.
Example 1: ‘What’ is the next step on my career path? ‘What’ is the right job for me given that I am sick and tired of computer programming? I think I might want to move into program management (sales, etc.) but ‘how’ could I do that? Since most of my past experience has been in development ‘how’ could I possibly write a convincing resume?”

Any time you engage in this type of internal dialogue as soon as the ‘how’ questions begin to surface a type of panic or paralysis sets in. Just at the point where you could benefit most from gaining more clarity about exactly ‘what’ you want, you get sidetracked by the ‘hows’ and abandon the ‘what.’ The predictable bottom line? You end up stuck believing that you can only do what you have done before.

Example 2: This second example illustrates the same ‘what-how’ leap occurring in a much subtler, but just as unfruitful way.

Question: “Hey Sandy, do you want to go to Joe’s Italian restaurant for dinner?”

Response: “We could never get a reservation tonight – it’s Friday and it’s already five o’clock.”

The question to Sandy was essentially a ‘what’ question – a question about what she wanted to do. But her answer was not a reply to the real question – it was not a response to the inquiry about what she wanted to do – rather it was her response to the ‘how’ question she was hearing in her head (i.e., ‘How’ could we possibly get a reservation?) Can you see how in even this simple and benign situation the ‘what-how’ leap operates unnoticed behind the scenes?

This mixing of ‘what’ and ‘how’ happens all the time and can distort your thinking. You can vastly enhance your thinking process and the quality of your outcomes if you learn to decouple the ‘what’ from the ‘how.’ Here’s why. ‘What’ and ‘how’ are two fundamentally different questions and influence your thought processes and actions in different ways:

The ‘Whats’ Come From You

‘Whats’ are usually under your control but ‘hows’ are often unpredictable. The answer to key ‘what’ questions such as, “What do you want to do, be, or have?” can only come from you – from your self knowledge. You may or may not know the answer at the moment you encounter the question, but the answers can only come through self examination because you are the expert when it comes to what you want. ‘Whats’ are important to explore because they can lead to clear definition of finite goals and objectives that can serve as beacons and reference points for your forward progress. It is important not to short-circuit this exploration of the ‘what’ by premature consideration of ‘how’ the ‘what’ can be accomplished.


The ‘Hows’ You Have Less Control Over

For any given ‘what’ that you want to accomplish there are often tens or hundreds of ‘hows’ that might be viable. ‘Hows’ are numerous and frequently unpredictable for several reasons:

• They often require that others besides yourself get involved in their execution. Often others must be invited or convinced to support your progress and these others may come with their own objectives and agendas.
• One step down a given ‘how’ path often influences or helps reveal the next. Planned paths, more often than not, mutate and evolve.
• ‘Hows’ usually involve a process that occurs over time, allowing countless unknown or unanticipated factors to intervene and affect your progress.