We live in uncertain times. Life sometimes feels scary and difficult. When we pick up the newspaper, listen to the news, or go about our day it sometimes seems that we have a constant shadow dogging our footsteps - and that shadow has a name – FEAR. Here are some strategies for dealing with fear that may allow you to not only keep it from paralyzing you, but also use it to catalyze you into positive action.
Stay in the Present
While fear is felt in the present, in most cases it is conjured up when you are thinking about the future. It is your minds and bodies reaction to the dire “what if” scenarios you imagine. When you find yourself starting to predict an unknowable future (for example thinking: housing prices and the stock market will fall further, I will likely lose my job, etc.) – don’t go there unless there is some positive planning you intend to do based on these imagined future events. Realize that much, if not most, of the time when you are projecting doom and self-generating fear you are doing so without any positive benefit. You are in fact “choosing to predict the worst and wallow in fear.” When you start to notice the fear spiral taking hold one good option is to counter it by getting present with what is going on in the moment – by feeling, seeing, hearing. Acknowledge what is OK in the present – I am OK right now – right this moment I have a roof over my head, and food on my table, and friends that care about me. I can still smile today because I am OK today. Especially when the true course of the future is completely uncertain and out of your control you are often simply wasting time and energy hypothesizing a dire future and all its potential ramifications. It is perfectly alright to contemplate what might be in six months or a year, but it will serve you better if you choose not to build fear and certainty around your projections.
Don’t Accept Every Invitation
If you listen carefully to the purveyors of doom and gloom, you will notice that behind their message lurks an invitation – an invitation to be a participant in the environment of fear that they are creating. You can choose not to accept this invitation. You can choose how to label and frame the current situation. If you label it as a “problem” or a “crisis” then it feels heavy, hard to handle, and like something you just have to “get through”. If you see it instead as a challenge or opportunity it opens you up to new possibilities. It is said that more millionaires are made during times of depression than in times of plenty. It is in times of crisis that the imaginative, creative person asks, “What is really going on here and what do I need to do differently?” Ask yourself, “Am I going to make myself sick with worry or am I going to accept what is and figure out what I want to do about it? Am I going to create my reality and my future or let it be created for me?”
Discover the Message in the Fear
Fear feels very uncomfortable and most of us want to get out of the discomfort of fear as soon as possible. Just for a moment consider the following – if fear is the messenger, what is the message? What can I learn from this fear before I try to make it go away? Does it tell me that I have been living above my means or I have been out of integrity in my financial dealings? See if you can build up the muscle of being uncomfortable so that you can take the time to really ‘get’ the message before you banish the messenger.
Remember that Fear Limits Your Ability to Think
Fear causes a contraction – it narrows your vision and your thoughts, and inhibits your capability for logical decision making. You need your mental faculties operating at their peak during difficult times to be able to brainstorm all possible options and choices available to you and decide the best time to make a decision or act. Fear leads to catastrophizing – “The stock market is gone, real estate is gone, therefore I am gone.” But you are not gone. We are not all going to disintegrate as a human race. There may be other ways of moving forward – some of which we have not seen yet. Ask yourself if you are willing to come on board and help find them, both for yourself and for the larger human community.
Be of Service
Fear is about you – your thoughts, feelings, reactions – and keeps your attention focused inward. Sometimes the best antidote to fear is to reverse your perspective and look outward. Look for ways that you can help others and be of service.
In Summary
Fear can be your enemy or your friend. It can protect you or diminish your ability to cope. It is likely that you are already familiar with some of the downsides of fear but are you equally aware of the options you have to choose your emotional reaction and change your perspective? It is said that in crisis we have a huge opportunity for awakening. What is the message you need to awaken to? What is the emotion you choose to manifest – is it fear or is it something more energizing and inspiring like hope?