Feature Stories | Taking the Lead | Archives | Chief Home Officer
Taking the Lead
by Carolyn Leighton-Tal (carolyn@witi.com)
Founder and Chairwoman of WITI
This column is intended to help you manage your staggering array of professional, business and career issues.
After some interesting discussions I had with WITI women about some of the new challenges
we face, I have been obsessively trying to find the words to coin a new term for
"househusband."
In these discussions, most everyone agreed one of the biggest problems faced was
the social situation where the stay-at-home partner was inevitably faced with the
"and what do you do?" question. This group expressed high tension before,
during and after those social events between both partners.
Switching gender roles - he staying home, she bringing home the bread - is definitely
a challenging situation for both partners, since it defies society's norms for male
and female roles.
A growing number of couples feel more comfortable with their changing roles - some
are absolutely proud of forging new territory. However, it was clear from these discussions
that not everyone has arrived at this comfort zone yet.
A growing number of couples are choosing to design their relationships around their
strengths and interests and look for life solutions, rather than follow traditions
which do not work for them. I applaud this direction and consider it healthy.
To reduce the tension when the "what do you do?" questions arises, I think
a more acceptable title for "househusband" would take these couples closer
to their comfort zone. I finally had a breakthrough in the middle of the night -
sat straight up in bed with one new possibility. I would like to know what you think:
CHO (Chief Home Officer) of Alternative Life Styles Corp.
We understand, of course, that finding a title that works is only one small step
towards solving some serious "challenges." Although each partner may agree
and even happily accept their new roles, this situation often adds to the already
long list of challenges which exists in every marriage.
Let's face it - women have been staying home for decades and can find a myriad of
activities and support groups that ease their loneliness and isolation. But the choices
available for men are often limited to activities for men who have retired or groups
where they may be the only male present.
To further complicate the situation, according to most research I have read, most
women, from the time they are young girls, seem to have the social skills to identify
friends and support groups, while young boys and men tend to be more activity centered.
Without those activities and support groups, men tell us that fighting the isolation
and loneliness, especially when their partners work long hours and travel frequently,
are the biggest challenges of all.
Now that I have proposed a better title, I need your help finding a good name for
a new organization for CHO's - I already checked out cho.com and mcho.com, but they
are taken. I have toyed with finding one of those men who want to start a support
group and maybe call it Male Advocates for Women in Technology, but still can't decide
on a good acronym. I think it would provide a focused activity and support group
for many of these men whose wives are already involved with WITI and who love the
idea of supporting a world where there is true gender equality.
I am inviting you to help us out - to be part of social change. After all, the major
truth and benefit of gender equity is to free both genders to do what they do best,
isn't it? So, let's help out these couples who are true pioneers by contributing
some creative solutions to making this role switch work and encourage more couples
to join their quest.
Please send your suggestions for a good .com name for this new organization, and
let me know if you want to help us get it started. Or, if you have face similar challenges,
please send us your thoughts (anonymously or otherwise). This trend is definitely
here to stay - your insights and solutions could make a difference.
