by Carolyn Leighton-Tal (carolyn@witi.com)
Founder and Chairwoman
WITI
Continuing the theme of the world appearing to be divided among those who believe they have more if others have less and those of us who believe we have more when others have more, I feel a strong need to delve more deeply into another aspect of this topic negotiating for a win/win or a win/lose.
I was recently talking to a business friend for whom I have great admiration. We were discussing negotiating deals, and he offered that when he is at the negotiating table, he believes someone has to walk away with more, someone with less. There was no time to pursue this discussion, since we were about to start a meeting, but I found his comment intriguing since I believe him to be an honorable, giving person and I normally think of those two values at odds.
My personal feeling is this entire question of win/win or win/lose is another example of putting your real values to the test. After all, if you say you are a fair, reasonable person, why would you ever want to engage in win/lose negotiations?
Are the answers complex or as simple as "actions speak louder than words?" Since I moved to a new role in WITI a few months ago, a significant amount of my time is now spent reviewing proposals and negotiating partnerships.
While the list of criteria I developed for filtering the hundreds of proposals I receive has proven to be invaluable, once it passes that filter, I like to examine whether the proposal is attempting to create a fair exchange.
For example, if this proposal is clearly one sided, I know from years of experience, the relationship will not grow and prosper - therefore, not worthy of time and resources. When there is clearly an intent of mutual exchange, I will spend more time considering the proposal seriously, because I am starting with a relationship coming from a place where the person understands the requirements of building successful business relationships. Inevitably, those relationships based on a mutual exchange always turn out to be those that last and justify time and resources.
What are your experiences how do you negotiate where do you believe the answers are in these issues? Please share your your insights and experiences.
